So I return to my mom’s from Cali, I have Kaleb and Nevaeh and I’m pregnant with another baby and I’m completely broken. Nobody had a clue what I had just been through. It changed me to say the least.
I start my prenatal care for my last pregnancy. It feels nice to always have some where to go and to not be stuck in my vehicle with the kids. It’s nice to be around familiar people.
We get to August 10, 2016 and I receive a fb call from Eric (Evan’s father) it was a weird phone call to say the least. I felt like he had more to say or something he wasn’t saying. Left an uneasy feeling in my stomach I remember that much for sure. I get off the phone with him. I’m busy with the day to day routine of my kids.
Then a few days later I get the message that he had overdosed and died on August 13, 2016. (Ironically that is my husbands date of birth) to be 100% honest I was honestly jealous. I felt jealous he was going to see Evan before me.
Then comes November I’m 8 months pregnant I end up going to hospital because I was having contractions. The medication they gave me to stop contractions did not do that so emergency c section we go. Nathaniel was born 11/16/16. He was 5 week early due to it only had been 13 months since the last c-section so the scar tissue wasn’t holding.
So it’s about 12 hours later and my family is visiting baby. Well then I notice it got quite and drs where rushing around me and in and out. The next thing I know they are telling me that Nathaniel is getting transferred to Portland.
So I get up and start to pack our stuff up. The nurse tells me they aren’t transferring me just the baby. I was livid I told her you guys better get my discharge papers cause I’m going with my baby. His response was ‘well you don’t get no more iv pain meds.’ I looked at him and told him ‘you think I give a fuck about iv pain meds?’
The ambulance gets there and luckily they weren’t like the hospital and let me ride with the baby to hospital in Portland. I still had staples in my stomach and it had not even been 24 hours since I had this procedure done.
So they get him settled in the nicu. My husband and I are anxiously awaiting for them to let us know what’s going on. He was the biggest baby in the nicu. Barely hitting 5lbs. He was only there a few days then they transferred him down to the children’s hospital where we stayed for about two weeks.
I never left that hopital I stayed with him day and night. It was nice to have the extra time alone with him to bond with him and to fall more and more in love with him. He was so perfect in every way.
I ended up having to be admitted to the hospital so they could remove my staples and stabilize my blood pressure apparently I got preclampcia after the fact.
My husband was there probably about 90% of the time. I know my mom had brought Nevaeh down to hospital to spend the night with her father, me and the new baby. It was just a preview of what was bout to start. She woke up in the middle of the night and woke Nathaniel up. So they both are crying I’ve got the baby and my husband has Nevaeh.
The next day I asked my mom to come get them and take them home. So the last 4 days it was just me and Nathaniel. I remember he was released from the hospital on thanksgiving day in 2016. I was so nervous and scare the weather was so crappy outside. That hour and half drive seemed so long.
At this point life was busy. I had a newborn, a 13 month old, Kaleb who was almost 5 going into kindergarten, and Kayla who was 12. Life was so busy then. Looking back now I can’t even imagine having to do everything I had to do for those guys in a day.
Then in January sometime my husband and I get into it because I found out he was still talking to some bitches he had already cheated on me with. He decides one Friday when he got paid to buy a bus ticket back to Indio and left the kids and I without saying a word.
Once again I was crushed and devastated and left with a whole lot of responsibilities to deal with on my own. He wasn’t much help when he was there anyways. I remember having to beg him for diapers for the baby or pull ups for Nevaeh. It was always a joke to ask him for anything.
I was once again left heartbroken and to figure out how to pull myself together for these kids I had relying on me. Nathaniel was always in my arms. I swear that baby was always in my arms. He is how I got through that rough patch.
After he left things started to fall into place for me and the kids. Not to long after I started working. I was able to get us our own apt. The kids and I had the apt for about a month but wasn’t able to spend much time there as I worked graveyard shift four nights a week.
So the nights I worked my kids would spend the night at my moms and I would get off in the morning and either crash at her house or grab the kids and go home.
March rolls around and he keeps asking me to get him a bus ticket back. At this point I was kind of upset about it. Honestly probably a little resentful and didn’t want to pay for it. Well come the end of March and he gets his way I purchase his bus ticket back to Oregon.
To be continued….
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